hank hill

Stranger: Hey

You: propane or charcoal?

Stranger: Charcoal

You:
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Stranger: Much better taste

Stranger: Hank Hill will dot persuade me

You: damnit bobby

Stranger: *not

You: taste the meat not the heat

Stranger: Hahaha

Stranger: Are you comfortable talking about vaginas?

You: not really

jen love

You: hey

You: can we talk?

Stranger: hello stranger

Stranger: sure

You: i really need to get this off my chest. and i have a feeling we will never meet

You: last night me and a few friends were driving and we hit a fisherman with our car.

Stranger: ok no problem buddy

Stranger: ok

You: what should we do?

You: i keep getting these calls

Stranger: u killed him?

You: i think so.

You: we just dumped the body.

Stranger: where is he now?

You: i think in the river

Stranger: where?

You: new jersey

Stranger: ok

You: i dont know what to do. i'm really scared

Stranger: did someone saw u?

You: my bf is freaking out

You: i dont know. i think he knows what we did last night

Stranger: your bf?

You: boyfriend. freddy

Stranger: ok

You: what should i do?

Stranger: is he telling the police?

You: well i think he is dead.

You: we threw him in the river.

Stranger: i know but i was asking if your bf is telling the police?

You: oh he was driving

Stranger: i see

You: i was giving him a bj

Stranger: wow!!!!! good for him

You: look what should i do? i need your help.

Stranger: if nobody saw u then just shut up

You: okay thanks. whats your name?

Stranger: youre soul will go to hell anyway

Stranger: im tina

You: do you really think that?

You: i'm scared even more now.

Stranger: go to a priest and confess your sins

Stranger: youll feel better

You: i'm moslem

Stranger: moslem?? or maybe muslim?

You: the vowels are interchangable in arabic

Stranger: yeah right'

You: look it up.

Stranger: you are muslim u dont have hell

You: i know.

Stranger: u dont have to worry then

You: i wont get the virgins.

Stranger: then its all up to u

You: look up the movie i know what you did last summer. have a nice life.

Stranger: shut up or go to jail

glitz/glam hollywood type

Stranger: hi

You: hello

You: whats up?

Stranger: nothing much and u?!

You: nothing really. just made a killer banana split

Stranger: =O

Stranger: im jealous

Stranger: wow now i want one

You: lol. make one!

Stranger: i dont kno how D=

You: bananas ice cream and split it.

Stranger: okay ill refrase that

Stranger: ..im too lazy

Stranger: lolll

You: lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

Stranger: ~_~

Stranger: not funny

Stranger: haha

You: i'm embarrassed. i'm sorry

Stranger: lol

Stranger: so where ya from!?

You: i feel really bad about that.

Stranger: lol i was kidding

Stranger: no worries=]

You: honest?

Stranger: yup

You: can we still be strangers?

Stranger: lmfaoooooooooooooooo

Stranger: okay that was actually funnny

You: well i am a comedian

Stranger: really?! =O

You: yeah. i dont like to brag about it really. i just want to be a normal person

Stranger: lmfaoo

Stranger: ur deff bullshiting me ~_~

You: i'm being serious.

Stranger: lol

You: you are making me feel really uncomfortable.

Stranger: oh sorry.

Stranger: lol

Stranger: that sounded akward

Stranger: lol

You: i'm being honest and you are calling me a liar.

Stranger: =\

Stranger: im sorryyyy

You: every day i'm in the spotlight. right now i'm in my hotel while filming a new movie and i just want to talk to real people.

You: who cares if ellen page is on set right now? not me. i want to be normal.

Stranger: haha

Stranger: wowwwwwwwwwwww

You: do you know what i mean?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: lol

Stranger: im alil slow sorry lol

You: yeah i guess its hard if you aren't in my shoes.

Stranger: -_-

Stranger: wats that supposed to mean?!

You: its alright. atleast you are real.

You: to know what i mean.

Stranger: im real?!

You: you are real.

Stranger: and are u fake?!

You: you aren't a fake hollywood type.

Stranger: lolllllll

You: only on camera.

Stranger: IM SO CONFUSEDDDDDDDD D=

Stranger: haha

You: i had to film 2 scenes with dane cook today. do you know how much that sucks?

Stranger: =OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Stranger: hes hawt

You: hes a tool.

You: i guess you will like this movie then.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

dope show

You: yeah where in the world are you?

Stranger: east

Stranger: asia

Stranger: china

Stranger: beijing

Stranger: u?

You: oh did you get to see the olympics?

Stranger: nope

You: FRIGGIN MICHAEL PHELPS! AM I RIGHT

You: USA

Stranger: hahah

Stranger: yea he got all the medals in the pool

Stranger: freaking awesome

You: he is a really good swimmer. and he tokes the sticky icky

ride the wavves

Stranger: hi

You: hey

Stranger: where are u from?

You: united states

Stranger: good

Stranger: i'm from chine

You: where?

Stranger: chine- CHINA

You: ohhh. why is it good?

Stranger: because i like US, alot

You: oh cool. we are pretty great

Stranger: one day, i'll travel to US

You: it is a free country

Stranger: i'll stay in your house

You: and our deli meats are delish

You: please do.

You: we'll have fun

Stranger: what's your name?

You: we can play nitendo, play dance dance revolution. my name is hawk

Stranger: hawk? it's so strange for me

You: its strangely american

You: i'm a surfer

Stranger: of course

Stranger: oooh really?

Stranger: i love beach

You: yeah. me too. lifes a beach.

Stranger: but here i never go

You: why is that?

Stranger: because it's so dificult a have a lot of things to do.

You: what do you do?

Stranger: i'm studing yet and you?

You: just surf and play baseball.

sensitive

Stranger: is your mom a milf?

You: im adopted

You: my mom died a few years ago

still trying to cam

Stranger: WHATA SIZE OF YOUR DICK?
I ONLY FUCK WITH 20CM MORE

You: its about 25cm

You: AROUND